There are a few things that I am sure about myself. One of them is that I cannot really hide my emotions on my face. It comes in really handy when acting. It doesn’t come in handy when I’m on my own time with a guy. This past Monday, I was at Epcot with a friend. More than once, he flat out called me out on things that I said that didn’t align with what my face and eyes were saying. I must’ve been staring blankly at him while he was saying something, because he mentioned it. And later, when I read a text I’d gotten from my dad, he asked me if everything was okay, to which I said, “Fine.” Clearly my face said otherwise as he immediately said, “Well that’s a no.” So I told him about the text and how my dad can be cruel sometimes. Whether it’s intentional or not I don’t know.
My dad sent me a really terrible text message that said, “…it’s about you thinking of other people instead of yourself for a change.” Essentially, my dad said I was selfish and probably self-centered as well. I haven’t spoken to him too much since then. His modus operandi is that if you don’t do as he says when he says to do it, you’re thinking only of yourself.
One of the conversations I had on Monday at Epcot was how my friend wasn’t inviting his ultra conservative parents to a play that he’s in. I totally get why, as I’ve seen the play, and it would definitely be rated a hard R between the swearing, the sexual references (some subtle and some… not), and the general ridiculousness of the entire thing. I thought about warning my parents off of seeing it, as they are also very conservative. But after that text from my dad, they get to suffer through two hours of sex jokes and f bombs. I hope they have fun.
This past Monday at Epcot was actually pretty great. I don’t want to overhype it, as I’m sure I’m making it out to be possibly better than it really was in my mind. But I wish I could explain to you what it was like hanging out with someone who you’re genuinely attracted to and at the same time, you trust this person implicitely. You learn small things about this person as you walk around the World Showcase, eating and drinking whatever you both want, sharing practically everything the other buys. He liked to joke that he didn’t remember most of what I said ten seconds after I said it, but he did. For instance, he’s rather tall and because it was about 3pm, whenever I would look up at him, I’d be looking right into the sun. Well, after I mentioned that I wanted to walk to his left, he remembered and would start doing it on his own. Little things like that. I know, maybe I’m being stupid over this. It was just a short afternoon at a theme park with a guy I’ve known for a little longer than a month. We could be just friends forever. And with a friendship like that, I would honestly be okay with that.